#Year of 40! Week 6 Sidenote: Ansley Kay

Disclaimer:  This has nothing to do with running. 

As I head into week 7 of #Yearof40!, my weekend is sticking with me.  The weekdays weren't so great but I can't stop thinking about how Week 6 ended...with Ansley K time and a solid run with Little Mister and Trooper.   I look back at the pictures and my heart runneth over.  It goes without saying that my love for Little Mister knows no bounds.  I grew him.  He is of Mark and me.  He has my Granddaddy's name and because I get to say "Nolan" every single day, my Granddaddy is a little bit closer.  Nolan amazes me and makes me smile daily - even on days when he forgets his chores or lacks any common sense (he is, after all, a 12-year-old boy...).   Ansley Kay...how to describe it...my love for her her is shocking - in the best way ever.  I knew before she existed that I'd love her.  I knew that before she was even conceived.  Any child belonging to my baby sister was always going to be special.  But I never knew I would love her THIS much!

At dinner one night last spring, my brother-in-law, Mitch, and my sister, Pye, gave the news - a baby is coming!  My reaction probably seemed inappropriate because there wasn't really much reaction at all.  Had I started talking or really even thinking about it, I would have squealed and cried and looked like a fool - in public, no less.  So I continued stuffing my face and began the terribly long wait for that baby to join us.  And to pour salt into the waiting-game-wound, Pye and Mitch decided NOT to find out the baby's gender.  What?!  In 2012?!  We called the baby Hef (part of their last name) until the day she was born.

The day Ansley was born - a Thursday - was an emotional whirlwind.  My husband, Mark, was in Raleigh with his family preparing for his brother's funeral.  Michael died in an accident the Friday before and I felt guilty about celebrating new life with my family as he was planning to bury someone who was so special to him.  I had a true 'circle of life' feeling all day.  Mourning rolled into celebration which rolled right back to mourning.  Because Mark was out of town, leaving work early and going to Hickory wasn't possible because Little Mister didn't get out of school until 4:15 and if I left, there would be no one to get him!  Ansley decided to come very quickly which meant that Little Mister and I were in the car breaking the sound barrier to get to Hickory before Ansley was born.   But we made it. 

There are some things in life for which you can never ever prepare.  One of those things was what I heard when I got off the hospital elevator.  Before we get to that, we have to go back for a moment.  I was ten years and three months (to the day) old when Pye was born.  (For the record, Pye is not her name.  It's what we've called her since she was a little girl.)  I remember vividly the day she came home from the hospital.   I remember bathing her.  I remember feeding her.  I remember doing homework with her.  I remember her torturing my high school boyfriend with questions like, "Why'd you cut your hair like that?!" and, "What's that on the end of your nose?" referring to a teenage pimple.  I remember reading "Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day" to her over and over and over again.  I remember coming down the mountain from college at ASU to go to her elementary school PTA program.  She may have driven me nuts, but she was and is my baby sister.

Ansley Kay, 20 minutes old

So having all of those things in mind and, if I'm being honest, admitting that sometimes I still see her as that little girl, I can tell you that there is absolutely no way on earth to prepare for stepping off of a hospital elevator and hearing your baby sister crying out in the worst pain of her life.   AK came so quickly that Pye did not get the benefit of modern medicine.  She delivered naturally.  And I stood outside of her room and listened to every moan, scream and cry wishing for it to end.  It was so hard to listen to but in an odd kind of way, absolutely beautiful.  That awful pain was bringing to us a beautiful life.  

Julia, AK and Little Mister

Twenty minutes after the cries of pain ended, we were all invited into the hospital room and we got to see our precious baby girl.  And this time, I mean Ansley.  At 20 minutes old, she had big, bright, alert eyes and was clearly starving.  Pye was a Mommy.  I held Ansley for a moment with Little Mister looking on.  I think he was amazed.  On the way home that night, he kept saying, "She's just so small."  Before I left her that night, I leaned down and sang the 'fish song' to her.  Granddaddy and I use to sing that song.  I needed for him to be there in that room with her.  Then I, of course, promised her that she was going to have the best shoe collection ever. 

Julie and Mary Pye

Mary Pye and Julie

Ansley Kay

Ansley Kay is 9 weeks old now and I've had the privilege of spending 4 Saturday nights with her.  I joke and say that I'm going to play baby nurse but there may be some truth in saying that I also go spend the night because I know that at 4:00 a.m., I won't have to share her with anyone.  At least once during the night, we have time - just the two of us and it's so precious.  It's worth noting that Ansley looks just like her mommy. When you compare baby pictures, it's just incredible.

Saturday No. 1 - December 8, 2012

Saturday No. 2 - January 5, 2013

Saturday No. 3 - January 26, 2013

Saturday No. 4 - February 9, 2013

Simply put, I had a great weekend.  I had doses of family and friends throughout.  Granted, running played a part - good runs at that but as I reflect back, I realize that the next generation of my family is off to an excellent start.  A kind-hearted, funny, smart young man and a precious baby girl.  These two children will never know a world without the love of family and the laughter and good times that come with it.   As our family evolves and with births as well as deaths, these two children - and any others that come along - will have the unconditional love and support of aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.  In our crazy bunch that started 37 years ago when Mom married Rick, I'm a mom, a daughter, a sister, and now an aunt.  I am filled with pride and happiness.  I am 4o and I am content and as previously stated, my heart runneth over.

Little Mister and Ansley Kay

Who loves Auntie?

More to come.
Running TALL,
Julia